


Instructional Johnlock: Editing

by chucksauce



Series: Instructional Johnlock [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Meta, marginal johnlock as a vehicle for my own writerly wanking, the editing process
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-18
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 00:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/971939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chucksauce/pseuds/chucksauce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my process for editing pieces (in fandom and out).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before You Start Deleting Stuff, Please Consider the Following

**Author's Note:**

> Ironically, this section is unbeta'd, though it is heavily self-edited. So do with that what you will.

 

From what I’ve gathered, there are two camps on editing: there are those who cower and cover their eyes as they send their typo-laden, syntactically snarled pieces to their betas or critique partners (if you’re using fancy terminology), and then those who cackle with glee as they speed through the rough draft process, eagerly awaiting the moment they get to polish their little chunk of rock until it shines like the gorgeously sparkling gem they know it’s about to be. 

I’m somewhere in between, but I do love editing for friends, and the compliments I’ve received have led me to believe I’m not terrible at it. So, for the sake of the Instructional Johnlock series, I’m going to attempt to explain my process. 

So before I begin getting into the meat and potatoes* (which I will cover in part 2), I want to take a minute to cover some sundry ideas. In this piece you can look forward to types of edits, proofing yourself, the best way to find a beta (and keep them), the joy of commentary, and then finally we’ll move on to the nitty gritty of red-penning like a champ.

 

 

 **Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about** ~~ **Sex**~~ **Editing Terminology (But Were Afraid to Ask)**  

So first, if you’re new to editing/proofing/beta-ing/whatever you want to call it, or if you’re just looking to improve your game, let me direct your attention to the different types of editing:  

 

 

> **Macro-Edits (Macros)**
> 
> Macro, of course, means big, and in this case, these are your big-picture edits. What the hell does that mean? 
> 
> Basically, the first rounds of revision for a longer piece should begin with macros**. You send your little diamond in the rough to your first beta or two, and tell them to look for big ideas: how well a scene works, whether that scene is in the right place (or altogether unnecessary), whether everyone’s in-character (and this is even true of original fic), and the like. You probably already do this when you send your stuff off for beta--I know I usually have notes that read along the lines of, “Okay so does John freaking out seem right to you? Is this fluff scene terrible or does it work here? Did this smut scene inspire tingles in your naughty-places?” 
> 
> A good beta should automatically do this for you, but it’s always a good idea to point out your concerns. They should let you know if that page of narrative where Sherlock rambles deductions like a fangirl enumerating her feels has any other plot- or character-developing merit, or if John seemed completely out of character by looking over at the kitchen table and saying, “Ooh, Sherlock! You have more body parts laid out with nothing protecting our table! Wonderful!”
> 
> That’s it. At the beginning stages of revision, this is more important than making sure you have the right number of oxford commas or whether you accurately kept your tenses and points of view in check. 
> 
> Think of it this way: It’s pointless to have John fantasize about Sherlock’s Adam’s apple if he’s never actually met our favorite consulting detective, right? Big picture is important.
> 
>   
> 
>  
> 
> **Micro-Edits (Micros)**  
> 
> So, if macros are the big-picture edits, then it would follow that micros are the small-picture edits. This would be where we start nitpicking over details like sentence structure, grammar, spelling, continuity, and brit-picking. This is what most of us think of automatically when we think of the revision process, but it’s usually around the third step of the overall writing process. Since we’re all aware of the existence of this type, I won’t embellish much. (If you have questions, feel free to leave them in the comments, and I can elaborate more)
> 
>  
> 
> **Copy-Edits**
> 
> I have lifted this term from the publishing industry, because even though we aren’t really submitting these fics for some publisher to buy them and sell them at Barnes and Noble, copy-edit is still incredibly important: this is you holding up your work and saying, “Hi world, here is the thing I am giving you!” 
> 
> This is the final step of the editing process. In the case of fic, when you’re uploading your polished piece to AO3 (or one of those other sites), do you frantically scan through one last time to make sure you didn’t miss anything stupid (like having called Sherlock “Shercock” in the middle of an otherwise mind-blowing sex scene) and to make sure your formatting hasn’t been eaten by the glitch-monster? This is copy-editing. One last pass right before it’s published. 
> 
> We all do this, but I thought it would be nice to put a name to it, to make you more aware of your conscientiousness as an author. There you are, gold star for you.
> 
>  

 

All right, everyone with me so far? Moving on.

 

 

 **Proofing Yourself (or: Check Yourself Before You Wreck Your Beta)**  

One of the things I pride myself on with my writing is that I have been told repeatedly that I spoil my writing partners, when it comes to the state in which I hand them a scene/chapter. A friend of mine (who doesn’t write fic and is actually working on getting herself an agent to get into proper traditional publishing) has complained to me several times about the state of “agent-ready” manuscripts that she has to slog through, correcting stupid things like spelling mistakes. 

To be fair, I know some of the best writers are, in fact, horrendous spellers. Dyslexia is a thing, as is plain old lack of talent for the subject, but here’s the thing: if you’re writing as a hobby or actually trying to get published, or anywhere between, clean up your piece as much as you can before you send it to someone. If you do legitimately have a learning disability that makes this task insurmountable, betas will understand and work with you. If you do not have such a condition and are just being lazy, your work is going to have your betas running for the hills faster than you can say, “Hudlock.”*** 

So what you can do is abuse the ever-loving-fuck out of your Spellchecker.**** Then, if your computer doesn’t have a built-in dictionary, go buy one of those things and start looking up words you don’t know by heart.

Another important thing to remember is that you are your worst critic (or you should be. If you’re not, you’re probably not serious in any way about writing, in which case the chances of you reading this little bit of wanky meta is practically nil)… So what that means is that you are the first and most reliable resource you have. If you’re reading back through a scene and you realize you forgot to add an important detail like the exact description of someone’s rhythmically pulsing cock, you go back and you put that thing in. 

The way I look at it is this: my betas are there for me to attempt to impress, only for them to call me (mercilessly) on my failings. This attitude has served me well thus far, and I would suggest you adopt a similar mentality.***** Do your best to impress the fuck out of your betas with your amazingly polished rough draft!******

 

 

 **The Importance of** ~~ **Being** **Earnest**~~ **Beta Partners**  

Hopefully I’m preaching to the choir here, because anyone not interested in getting themselves a little slice of Beta heaven is probably not going to be reading this article, but just in case: **_betas are IMPORTANT!_** They are your lifeline, your support network, your vehicle for plotbunnies and your cheerleaders when you have an existential crisis at four in the morning having come to the startling realization that everything you write is shit after you read that really awesome fic/novel by [insert author here]. 

Believe me on this--writing buddies are a necessity if you want to get anywhere with your work. At the very least, a good beta will be an invaluable “business partner,” and at most, you will make a new BFF. More on beta-relationships later, though. (Wow, this is really starting to read like an omegaverse fic, isn’t it?)

  

 **How to Find a Beta (And Keep Them)**  

The methods are many. Here are some that have worked for me: 

 

 

> 1.) **Hit up your friends who also write stuff:** they are a good first line of beta, unless you’re writing their NOTP. Bonus points if your fic accidentally converts them to your fandom or ship. Then you have valuable bonding going hand in hand with productivity! Don’t have friends who write? Then try this out: 
> 
> 2.) **Go to a blog or site set up for these sort of random encounters.** <http://betafinder.tumblr.com> is a handy one, because it lets users post their strengths, weaknesses, street-cred, and what they’re interested in reading (as well as what they definitely are *not* interested in, which means you don’t have to worry about scaring off a new partner because you decided to write a non-con BDSM-laden omega!Mycroft/apha!Lestrade fic or something). Typically the etiquette with this route is that if you are looking for a beta and can spare the time, be willing to offer your services in return either to them directly or by posting a similar profile on the blog/forum/etc. Actually, that's pretty much true of whatever route you take to find a partner. Everyone likes a reach-around, and it’s a great way to ingratiate yourself with strangers. 
> 
> 3.) **Leave insightful and thorough comments on stories that you really like.** True story: I earned one of [my best betas](../users/bitenomnom) because I ate up [her story](446714) like it was candy--I loved it so much I always made sure to leave hefty commentary on the chapters. Letting her know that I saw what she was doing with plot and character developments, as well as sharing my fangirling and loving frustrations at her devious twists and complications, was originally my way of just saying, “I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY PLEASE KEEP WRITING IT!” --but then when she put out a call on tumblr for a quickie-beta, I volunteered, and we traded pieces to crit for one another (which was HELLA awesome, because that meant that I got beta from someone whose work I admired and whose skill level I trusted, and it meant that she knew from the typical commentary I left that her choosing me as a beta was likely a worthwhile/trustworthy endeavor, since I didn’t actually have anything up on AO3 yet for her to judge by). 
> 
> 4.) **Politely ask someone whose writing you admire if they might have the time to give your piece a once-over.** I haven’t yet worked up the nerve to try this one, but it’s my next move, most likely, if my (amazing) betas ever decide they’re done putting up with my run-on sentences. That little disclaimer aside, the idea is sound, and really works well with idea #3. If you are a fan of someone’s writing, your leaving comments is also pretty likely. So that generates a weird level of familiarity for the author (trust me on this--we recognize repeat offenders and they fill us with glee :D). Going to that author, then, and politely just saying, “Hey, I really like what you do, and I have this thing…would you be interested in looking it over for me?” is kind of like the biggest ego-stroke ever for ~~me~~ ~~us~~ them. The worst that could happen is they say they can’t (for whatever reason, be it time constraints or because they are fandom-famous and get a *lot* of these requests and have just made it policy to decline), and no one’s the worse for it. So far my experiences in this fandom have been overall positive: everyone’s looking to connect with like-minded souls, and our fandom does boast massive talent. So it’s worth it to try, if all else fails.

 

 **What to Expect When You’re Expecting (Beta Partners)**  

So you’ve found your beta partner! Excellent. 

First and foremost it’s important to establish the style of beta you prefer and the style you typically give. If you’re thick-skinned like me and you love a strong-minded partner who’s not afraid to tell you point-blank when your writing sucks, getting in deep with a beta who sugarcoats everything is not going to help you. Conversely, if you’re a thin-skinned writer (which is perfectly fine and in no way indicates your skill level or talent), having someone like me who is incredibly blunt about things at times is probably not going to go over well. So it’s a good idea when you’re both setting out those feelers to establish this from the get-go. 

Next it’s a good idea to set up a timeline for when you would like the piece back. I mean this 100%! When people tell me, “Hey look over this chapter whenever you can, no rush,” it may literally take me three months to get to it because I do have a life and I have the memory span of a goldfish. So far I have found this to be true of every beta I’ve worked with--we all have lives, and sometimes we forget shit. It doesn’t mean I don’t love the story, nor does it mean I’m not chomping at the bit to find out what happens next. It literally just means that I had to take my kids to school and then the toilet exploded and eighteen other things happened and holy fuck it’s two months later. If you need something back within a timeline, it is perfectly acceptable to politely state that up front. I (and I would assume most people doing beta) will remember deadlines, and we can be honest about whether or not we will be able to meet that need. 

Beyond that, you’ll need to set up a format for your exchange. I know some people who strictly run on DropBox or Google Docs or good old fashioned email when it comes to how they like to access a file and do their red-penning. Remember, they are doing you a favor by running beta for you, so it’s best to accommodate their preference here. 

It’s also a good idea to make sure the length of your piece is something they’re willing to take on. For me, having an entire 55k dumped in my lap is most likely going to mean I procrastinate like a champ. Mostly my experience (reading or writing) has been with WIPs that are updated chapter-by-chapter, and that means I’ll ship out a chapter or expect a chapter when I see that I have new stuff to read. Some people are only willing/able to tackle a <10k or they’re ready for you to throw an entire Joycean saga at them, but it’s always a good idea to have these expectations set up in advance.

 

 **How to Tell if They’re Just Not Into You**  

So the tricky thing here (especially with a new partner) is anticipating how well the relationship is going to work out. As it stands, when you get a new beta, you are entering what is essentially a mutually beneficial business relationship. This means that you may wind up realizing that you only ever talk to one another when you send crit, or it may mean that you’ll wind up earning a new BFF--but don’t expect to be super-best-buds right from the gate. 

Even trickier is that painful moment where you realize your relationship isn’t working and you have to break up. Idealistically, it really should be as simple as saying, “Thank you for your work, but I don’t think this story is my cup of tea,” or what-have-you, and then stating your intention to sever the deal. More commonly (and I’ve been on both sides of it), the communications will just taper off after a story is finished or at least after that moment of realization. It could be that the relationship has come to its natural conclusion, or it could just be that they got swamped with work and haven’t been doing anything in the fandom. Remember, real life is a thing. Either way, beta is only good when it’s strengthening your final product, and it’s okay to move on. 

Harassment, however, is not okay. That just makes you a crappy person that no one will ever want to work with. If you receive such harassment, report them to whatever medium the harassment is coming through and then block the fuck out of them. You don’t have to tolerate that crap.

  

 **The Joy of** ~~ **Sex**~~ **Commentary**  

This is just a small aside, really quickly, about the perks of excellent beta: if your beta is good, they will probably leave you their reactions to your writing as well as their constructive criticisms of things you can fix. This can come as hilarious ways their inner monologue has slotted in with your narrative, or eighteen pages of :D :D :D :D :D after a particularly funny or cute moment in your story (to wit: said [beta](../../users/bitenomnom) printed out a chapter to go over while she was away from her computer, and actually penned handwritten keyboard smashes in regards to some fluff by leaving scrawls of epilleptic scribbling in the margins). This is the part that I always look forward to, and if you’re curious why, go check out [Captain John Watson: Distraction Specialist [DIRECTOR’S COMMENTARY]](947257). 

Besides this just being an ego-stroke, it’s actually really useful. It lets you know if you are accurately hitting the emotional/mental buttons you were hoping to hit. In the case of a particularly heated argument about thumbs-in-the-fridge-that-isn’t-actually-about-thumbs-in-the-fridge-but-actually-about-John’s-perceived-sacrifices-for-his-relationship-with-Sherlock, or a scene where John’s angsting over whether or not Sherlock actually like-likes him _like that_ , this kind of commentary will let you know if you pulled off those emotional peaks, which will also help to strengthen your skills. On the flipside, good commentary will also tell you, “I didn’t really believe this argument. It seemed like it just exploded out of nowhere and now I have whiplash.” Again, this is handy, because it lets you know you need to go back in and pepper in the right details to make that argument make sense the way you need it to.

 

All right, so you’ve got your beta partner and you’ve got something to edit. How the fuck do we do that? Check out the next chapter!

 

 

 **Chapter 1 Footnotes:**  

*Funny story: One time I referred to anal sex as the “meat and potatoes of slash fic,” and now any time that phrase gets mentioned it’s usually in that context. This may only be amusing to me, but I thought I would share anyway. You’re welcome. 

**Macros aren’t as important for one-shots and shorter, because you’re not really focused so much on silly things like character development or juggling multiple plot-lines, although the in-character/out-of-character thing is still vital. And OH BUDDY if there’s nothing I haven’t learned, is that people will spot OOC Johnlock from a mile off, so paying special attention to that part in a one-shot isn’t really even worth mentioning. It will happen, trust me. If your beta doesn’t catch it, your readers will certainly point it out, although hopefully they do so in a nice way. 

*** Not to bash on Hudlock shippers. But I would imagine it’s the sort of thing that would send 90% Johnlockers running right off. Please save your calm defense of this ship for my [tumblr](http://chucksauce.tumblr.com), where I will be happy to discuss this issue further. 

**** I mean, I’m assuming that since you’re posting this stuff on the internet you are probably at some point typing it into a word processing program or google docs (which also has spellcheck). 

***** The downside to this mentality is this: when I send a thing to a beta and they don’t give me any crit, just commentary, I start wondering if I may need to find newer and harsher betas, because I really am a glutton for punishment. I enjoy strict and lubeless criticism (but that isn’t to say I enjoy malicious criticism, if you know what I mean). 

****** Also: if I beta for you, seeing me correcting a lot of stuff in your piece DOES NOT MEAN I THINK YOU ARE A SUBPAR AUTHOR. It means that maybe you were having a tough time writing that scene, or you just weren’t giving it as much as you normally do because you were tired and your cat was clawing your leg or something. I’m not going to beta something that I think isn’t going to work, and I’m not going to do it for someone who I don’t think has the ability. Maybe I’m tooting my own horn here, but if your beta is sticking with you (and not because they’re for some reason legally obligated to or you’ve got them hostage or something), it’s because THEY LIKE YOUR WRITING. THEY LIKE YOU AS A WRITER. Do not ever doubt that. I COMMAND YOU TO NEVER DOUBT THIS FACT. :D


	2. Editing (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay between the first chapter and this one--aside from dealing with the real world, I was also battling around trying to figure out how to format this sonofabitch.
> 
> Okay, so here's how it works: hover on the links for the explanations. The links don't actually go anywhere, except for one. I dare you to find it! :D
> 
> As always, please feel free to leave comments--it encourages me to keep going with this series (or anything else, really)...

In part one, we covered the conditions one should set up for editing and the different types of editing that can be done. Since it would be incredibly difficult to upload a long enough piece to cover macros with you, I’ll stick to micro-editing for this installation of the Instructional Johnlock series. Here’s what to expect: spelling & punctuation, sentence restructuring, beefing up the deets, and sentences that benchpress stuff. 

The best way I can think to show you all these things is to write up a quick drabble and then show you how I’d edit it. Oh, what was that? Did I hear someone say to play doctor on a PWP? HERE HAVE SOME EARLY MORNING [KITCHEN LOVIN’!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) (And for the sake of brevity let’s get even more masochistic and make it a 221b!)

 

>  
> 
> John shuffled around the kitchen, scruffing his hair with the dazed expression of the thoroughly groggy. He’d only just gotten the water into the kettle when he heard the bedroom door creak open, and Sherlock shuffled out wearing his sheet.
> 
> John smiled to himself as Sherlock was still half sleep-blind, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes, and when he sidled up to lean against the counter near John, the army doctor pitched up onto his tiptoes to kiss the cheek of his lover. Sherlock leaned forward and turned his face to take the next with his lips.
> 
> John obliged, bringing a hand up to cup Sherlock’s jaw, and kissed him a little more intently, drawing Sherlock’s lower lip between his own, running his tongue across the edge of it before nipping playfully.
> 
> Sherlock growled softly, and John’s grogginess evaporated instantly, replaced with lust. Sherlock shifted his position and freed one arm from his sheet, placing it on the cabinet by John’s head to steady himself as he leaned forward, pressed his front along John’s, pinning him to the counter. Hardly to anyone’s surprise, Sherlock’s body was beginning to respond to the proceedings the same way John’s were: he could feel the press of his hardening cock through the thin, ridiculously high thread-count sheet. The heat and pressure of it against John’s stomach was enough to bring John the rest of the way ‘round, and he rocked against Sherlock to show him as much.

 

 

All right, let’s stop right there--and d’you know why? Because this is a 221b, and I’m already sitting at 245 words. And we haven’t even gotten to the good stuff! They’ve ONLY JUST started getting all turgid and grindy! WTF! 

Well, if the goal is to just barely get things going and leave the reader wanting _more_ , then this would be fine. But no, I want to be a gracious smut-peddler! I WANT TO GET TO THE GOOD STUFF. So already we need to go and edit for content, just to get that word-count down in order to thrust in some more action (oh, god, that’s a terrible pun. ~~Sorrynotsorry~~ ). 

So basically what I’m about to do is start wielding the edit-machete to just roughly clear as much as I quickly can. As a general rule, unless you happen across a bangin’-ass first line, a good idea is to go straight to the beginning, because a lot of the time you kind of have to “write yourself into the scene”… meaning the first chunk usually winds up being a weaker “warm-up” until you’re ready to actually begin the dance routine (in our case, smut, lol). So using our example, how can we heartlessly trim down that first paragraph? Let’s look at it again:

 

> John shuffled around the kitchen, scruffing his hair with the dazed expression of the thoroughly groggy. He’d only just gotten the water into the kettle when he heard the bedroom door creak open, and Sherlock shuffled out wearing his sheet. (40 words)

 

Okay, so the point here is that it’s early in the morning and John shuffles in and starts the kettle and then Sherlock comes out in only a sheet. Let’s see what it looks like, pared back to those details: 

 

 

> John shuffled into the kitchen in only his sleep pants, groggy, and started the kettle. The door creaked and he turned to she Sherlock following him, wearing his sheet.

Not bad, not bad. We did in 29 words what it took us forty to do last time. But is there any way to cut that back more while still packing the same kind of punch? Now would be a good place to pull out the pruning shears and go in for the little things. Since concision is the game here, understand that some lovely details may fall by the wayside, BUT it’s making way for more smut, so that’s just a sacrifice we’re gonna hafta make. Also, we can play with sentence structure to weed out even more:

> John shuffled groggily into the kitchen ~~in only his~~ wearing ~~sleep~~ pants ~~, groggy~~ , and started the kettle. ~~The door creaked and he turned to[she](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) see Sherlock following him, wearing his sheet.~~ Sherlock wasn't far behind, wrapped only in the sheet.

  

Now we’re down to 21, which is nearly half, which gives us back 19 words. All right, good enough for now, let’s move on, cutting stuff out. (Also, given one little word I snipped out, we went from John wearing pyjama pants to just underwear. There’s a lovely little windfall, right?)

For the sake of brevity, I’m going to breeze on through the rest of what I have, just to get it all done, but now you know the kind of steps I took. 

 

 

> John smiled ~~to himself~~ as Sherlock ~~was still half sleep-blind,~~ blink ~~ing~~ ed rapidly ~~to clear his eyes, and when he~~ sidled up to lean against the counter ~~near John,~~. [~~the army doctor~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) John pitched ~~up~~ onto his tiptoes to kiss ~~the~~ Sherlock’s cheek ~~of his lover. Sherlock~~ , who leaned forward, ~~and~~ turn ~~ed~~ ing his face to take the next with his lips.
> 
> John obliged, bringing a hand ~~up~~ to cup Sherlock’s jaw, and kissed him [~~a little more~~ ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/)intently, drawing Sherlock’s ~~lower~~ lip between his own, running his tongue across the edge ~~of it~~ before nipping playfully.

 

> Sherlock growled ~~softly,~~ ; and John’s grogginess evaporated [~~instantly~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/), replaced with lust. Sherlock shifted ~~his~~ position and freed one arm from his sheet, ~~placing~~ pressing ~~it on~~ against the cabinet by John’s head ~~to steady himself~~. ~~as h~~ He ~~leaned forward,~~ pressed his front along John’s, pinning him to the counter. [~~Hardly to anyone’s surprise, Sherlock’s body was beginning to respond to the proceedings the same way John’s were was: he~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/)John ~~could feel~~ felt the press of [~~his~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) Sherlock’s hardening cock through the [~~thin, ridiculously high thread-count~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) sheet. [~~The heat and pressure of it against John’s stomach was enough to bring John the rest of the way ‘round, and he~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) John rocked against Sherlock ~~to show him as much~~.
> 
>  

Now let’s see what our whole thing looks like, all cleaned up:

 

> John shuffled groggily into the kitchen wearing pants, and started the kettle. Sherlock wasn’t far behind, wrapped only in the sheet. 
> 
> John smiled as Sherlock blinked rapidly, sidled up to lean against the counter. John pitched onto his tiptoes to kiss Sherlock’s cheek, who leaned forward and turned his facet to take the next with his lips.
> 
> John obliged, bringing a hand to cup Sherlock’s jaw, and kissed him intently, drawing Sherlock’s lip between his own, running his tongue across the edge of it before nipping playfully.
> 
> Sherlock growled; John’s grogginess evaporated, replaced with lust. Sherlock shifted position and freed one arm from the sheet, pressing against the cabinet to steady himself. He pressed his front along John’s, pinning him to the counter. John felt the press of Sherlock’s hardening cock through the sheet. John rocked against Sherlock.

 

Snap, dude. We went from what, 245 words down to 138! That means we trimmed out 107 words, just in this round of things. As we keep going, it’s only going to keep getting more streamlined. All right, let’s see if we can add another smutty paragraph to get those words back (and for those of you keeping up with the math, we’re sitting at 138 so we’ve got a mere 83 words until we hit 221)… 

 

> They moved together, finding a rhythm quickly. Sherlock bent his knees to line his cock against John’s, pressed his forehead against John’s shoulder, John’s hot breaths becoming quickly ragged in his ear. Eventually one of them got impatient and pushed sheet and pants away, to press themselves skin-to-skin, and it sent an electric jolt through John. He moaned and bit his lip, _so fucking close--_  
> 
> “I’m--” 
> 
> “Come for me, John,” Sherlock pleaded, and John came so hard he thought he’d go blind.

 

Now we’re sitting at 84 words. Not bad, when our goal was 83. To be fair, I was checking the word count after every sentence, and when I got to the last one and saw I was at 80, I did rewrite it so I could start trying to work in the hallmark final B-word in that makes it a 221B. Now I need to go back and edit at least one more word out (probably will wind up being more). 

 

> They ~~moved together, finding~~ found a rhythm quickly[ ~~.~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/): Sherlock bent his knees to line his cock against John’s, pressed his forehead against John’s **scarred** shoulder, John’s hot breaths becoming quickly ragged in his ear. Eventually one of them got impatient and pushed sheet and pants away, to press themselves skin-to-skin, and it sent an electric jolt through John. He moaned and bit his lip, _so fucking close--_  

 

> “I’m--” 
> 
> “Come for me, John,” Sherlock pleaded, and John came so hard he thought he’d go blind.

 

Okay so that took out two words, and re-conjugated another, which means this section’s word count is now 82. Therefore I took the liberty of adding in another word (bolded) to give us that 83 we’re looking for. 

Now I’m going to go in and look at the whole thing to see about

  * verb choice (changing [passive to active](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/), making sure I conjugated everything correctly as I was hacking and pruning, etc)
  * word choice (paying attention to making sure I don’t use words repetitively, etc), and sentence structure (because I have a tendency to either use too many run-ons or too many choppy short sentences of five words or less--ideally we want a good mix of the two, in order to keep the narration sounding natural while not avalanching the reader in dependent clauses nor machine-gunning information too quickly.)
  * POV and pronoun usage (Quick rule of thumb: in something this short, it’s easiest to stick with 3rd person limited versus omniscient, because it’s just too short to really evenly explore everyone’s thoughts, feelings, and reactions. That means if it’s not 100% even, it’s going to feel lopsided, and you’ll wind up cutting it back to limited anyways. And with pronouns? KEEP THAT SHIT CLEAR! ONLY ONE PERSON GETS THEIR NAME SHORTENED INTO “HE/HIM/HIS” OR “SHE/HER[S]” **PER PARAGRAPH!** This just avoids all kinds of confusion for a reader who’s barreling through your gorgeous narration to find out what happens next. The ENTIRE POINT of good narration is to impart the information without being intrusive and without distracting the reader away from what is literally happening in the story.[*](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/))



Also, I’m not entirely happy with the way that last sentence worked out, because while I do want John getting off, I don’t want this 221b to feel complete (since Poor Sherlock hasn’t gotten his yet!), so I’m going to be thinking to see if I can find a way to change that last sentence to give it the unresolved tension I’m looking for in this little drabble.[**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/)

 

 

> John shuffled groggily into the kitchen wearing pants, and started the kettle. Sherlock wasn’t far behind, wrapped only in the sheet. John smiled as [~~Sherlock~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) he blinked rapidly, sidled up to lean against the counter. John [~~pitched~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) rose onto [~~his~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) tiptoes to kiss Sherlock’s cheek, who leaned forward and turned his face[ ~~t~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) to take the next with his lips.
> 
> [John](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) obliged, bringing a hand to cup Sherlock’s jaw, and kissed him intently, drawing Sherlock’s lip between his own, running his tongue across the edge of it before nipping playfully. 
> 
> [Sherlock](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) growled; John’s grogginess evaporated, replaced with lust. Sherlock shifted position and freed one arm from the sheet, [~~pressing~~ leaning](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) against the cabinet to steady himself. [~~He pressed his front along John’s, pinning him to the counter. John felt the press of Sherlock’s hardening cock through the sheet. John rocked against Sherlock.~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) He pinned John to the counter so that the latter could feel the press of Sherlock's hardening cock through the thin sheet. John rocked against him, [~~involuntarily~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) moaning.They found a rhythm quickly: Sherlock bent his knees to line his cock against John’s, pressed his forehead against John’s scarred shoulder, John’s hot breaths becoming quickly ragged in his ear.
> 
> [Eventually](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) one of them got impatient and pushed sheet and pants away, to press themselves skin-to-skin, and it sent an electric jolt through John. He moaned and bit his lip, _so_ _fucking close--_
> 
> “I’m--”
> 
> “Come for me, John,” Sherlock pleaded[ ~~, and John came so hard he thought he’d go blind~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/).
> 
> When the orgasm subsided, John grinned at Sherlock and said, "I'm taking you back to [bed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/)."

 

 

So yeah. Aside from the fact that my explanations are probably a bit ridiculous, hopefully the method to my madness makes sense. Now I know I'm going to have to make one more pass becuase I wound up adding some sentences and my word count has probably gotten away from me, so let me go count and see where I'm at now... Dude, I wound up with 227 words. I am a badass. So what, I've got to cut out six? Easily enough done (or so you'd think... At this point so much paring has happened that you kinda hafta get heartless about it. So I'm going to go do that now! 

 

> John shuffled groggily into the kitchen[ ~~wearing pants~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) ~~,~~ and started the kettle. Sherlock [~~wasn’t far~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) trailed behind, wrapped only in the sheet. John smiled as he blinked rapidly, sidled up to lean against the counter. John rose onto tiptoe to kiss Sherlock’s cheek, who leaned forward and turned his face to take the next with his lips.
> 
> John obliged, [~~bringing a hand to~~](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/) cup **ping** Sherlock’s jaw, and kissed him intently, drawing Sherlock’s lip between his own, running his tongue across the edge of it before nipping playfully. 
> 
> Sherlock growled; John’s grogginess evaporated, replaced with lust. Sherlock shifted position and freed one arm from the sheet,  ~~~~leaning against the cabinet to steady himself. He pinned John to the counter so that the latter could feel the press of Sherlock's hardening cock through the thin sheet. John rocked against him, moaning. They found a rhythm quickly: Sherlock bent his knees to line his cock against John’s, pressed his forehead against John’s scarred shoulder, John’s hot breaths becoming quickly ragged in his ear.
> 
> Eventually one of them got impatient and pushed sheet and pants away, to press themselves skin-to-skin, and it sent an electric jolt through John. He moaned and bit his lip,  _so_ _fucking close--_
> 
> “[Christ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/971939/chapters/)\--I’m--”
> 
> “Come for me, John,” Sherlock pleaded.
> 
> When the orgasm subsided, John grinned at Sherlock and said, "I'm taking you back to bed."
> 
>  

 

All right. That's it. That's the show. Now we are sitting at 221 words, the last of which starts with a B; it's a little snatch of a scene that has been edited within an inch of its life, Now I plan on taking this damned thing and uploading it as a separate post, and gift it to the gal that requested some first-thing-in-the-morning-kitchen-smut.

But before I do all of that, I did want to leave one final note: By no means is than an exhaustive example of how editing goes. This is just one instance out of an infinite combination of facets. The best way to improve your editing skills is to pay attention when people edit for you, and to read with a critical eye even when you're reading for fun (don't **_try_** to find faults or else you'll never have fun reading again, but do think about why you tend to favor particular authors or stories, and when mistakes in fic jump out at you [typos or unbelieveable situations or whatever], think about how you'd do it differently.) And as far as the resources you might need? I'd recommend Strunk  & White's Elements of Style, but if you can't digest it, then at least do yourself the favor of getting [The Elements of F*cking Style by Chris Baker and Jacob Hansen](http://www.theelementsoffuckingstyle.com/).

ALL RIGHT! Now to go show off my fancy-ass 221B! :D 

 

 

 

 


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